Today marks one year since my mother died.
I didn’t think I’d be able to write the words “my mother died.” So I’m making progress.
I’m not a big fan of anniversaries. I’m not married, so I don’t have that one. Work anniversaries are fun only if you’re not working so hard that you miss them. And I missed the last one.
So the anniversaries of deaths may not be the kind of thing you want to remember. They bring the pain of loss, the pain of facing your own mortality, the pain of more goodbyes to come.
But then I remembered, and am thankful for Jane Austen’s words – from Pride and Prejudice, Darcy and Elizabeth discussing a letter: “You must learn some of my philosophy. Think only of the past as its remembrance gives you pleasure.”
What wise words! What a joyful philosophy. It will be hard, but I will try it because to spend too much time in a painful past makes is so much harder to have a joyous future. I know from experience.
So today, i will think of my mother. I will try to remember all the times we talked about the serious and the light.
And I shall remember only the times that she laughed, bold uncontrollable laughter that would bring tears to her eyes.
Yes, that is how I will remember her today.