OK. If you’re one of 10 people in America who never, ever buys a lottery ticket, then skip this post.
But if you, like me, occasionally throw away a little money on the dream of striking it rich, then you’ll understand the question. I was asked: What would you do if you won the lottery? Not what would you buy? Or how would you feel?
But what would you do?
First, I’d thank God. Then I’d offer 10 percent to my church, which wouldn’t take it because, after all, it comprises gambling proceeds. Nah, who am I kidding? My church would be thrilled.
But then the spending would begin.
First, a car and driver. People don’t usually think about this, but the greatest luxury in the world is working on reading or texting or putting on make-up while YOU’RE NOT DRIVING! For a May commencement speech, the college sent a car to pick me up. I slipped off my shoes, went over my speech and reveled in how wonderful it was not not juggle Mapquest instructions, coffee and my cell phone as I made my way to a place I’d never been.
Second, a servant. Don’t hate. I don’t want a housekeeper or a personal assistant or a secretary. I want a life manager. Not a life coach. A life manager to oversee the personal assistant and secretary and driver but whose main job would be to open mail. They’d start with the two boxes of it sitting in my dining room right now because I’ve been traveling and haven’t gotten to it yet. (Apologies to anyone waiting for answers or an RSVP and didn’t call to see whether I’d been hit by a truck).
Third (and this will make my real estate agent very happy), I’d buy land. As Lex Luthor told Superman when he returned in 2006 (“Superman Returns”): “You can print money, manufacture diamonds, and people are a dime a dozen, but they’ll always need land. It’s the one thing they’re not making any more of.” I want six residences, and I know where I want them. But I’m not telling you.