My dog Desi, the world’s greatest dog, had surgery last Thursday. While all surgeries are serious, his was low on a scale of 10. He had a little bump above his left eye that the doctor needed to remove. His vet wanted to use general anesthesia.
I said: “Two words: irrational and resolute.”
Desi’s vet is pretty smart and got it right away.
“Your fear of me putting him to sleep is irrational, and you’re not going to change your mind, right?”
Told you she was smart. So she gave him a feel-good shot in his thigh, and he was so mellow that she completed the surgery with only two sutures AND cleaned his teeth.
When she called to say he was up and around, she said, “He’s happy. His tail is wagging. And he is the world’s best dog!”
He was fine until they insisted that he wear a collar to keep him from scratching the sutures. I left without it.
“I’ll keep an eye on him,” I said with that momentary, irrational arrogance that comes from thinking you know more than your doctor or banker or your dog’s vet.
We arrived at the home and had been in the house for about .9 seconds when he reached up his back par and began scratching.
My assistant, Leah, raced back to pick up the collar.
“Oh, yes,” she said, laughing, really laughing. “They laughed.”
I drove him around in the car to distract him from trying to lie down without falling over, which he just could not do. When we got back, Desi immediately felt like posting about his day on his Face Book page. I share it with you here.
“So she was smiling real big, right? That’s when I knew something was up. She took me to the doctor, who kept rubbing this bump on my face and saying “No problem.” Next thing I know, I’m asleep. When I wake up, the bump is gone, my teeth are clean and I’m wearing a flower hat. Oh, the embarrassing inhumanity! But I AM getting lots of treats and some cool pills!”